Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
