We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want nice things and good sex
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
