How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
