I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
