Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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