So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
