Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
