Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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