Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
