i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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