You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
