I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
