Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You pole danced in your parka.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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