yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
