quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
