Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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