the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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