I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
pray to the hookup gods
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
