So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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