Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
