He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
