It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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