He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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