we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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