oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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