Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cockslap morals
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
