Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
