he puts the penis in happiness.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
