His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
