ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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