apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
