I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
