You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
