i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
