Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
