Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
