jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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