Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
