If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
