New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
