he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
