okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
