I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
