I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
