how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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