Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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