Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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