there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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