It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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