Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
