I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
